Sensory issues suck. But we use them to self-sooth and self-regulate

We need to stop overlooking sensory issues for autistic and/or ADHD people. They can have a major impact on our ability to function, both negatively and positively. Overstimulation and overload can make focusing hard to impossible, spiral us into unwanted emotions, or shut us down entirely. At the same time, our senses can be really grounding, intense sensations can be really enjoyable, and the right stimulation can be regulating.

What I'm saying is that we can also use these same heightened senses to self-regulate or self-soothe if we do it right. Let's talk about how to do that, and walk through a worksheet to help.

The Impact of Sensory Issues

Most autistic people, and many people with ADHD, are highly impacted by our sensory world, although usually in different ways. Autistic folks may be highly, sometimes painfully, sensitive to sights, sounds, and so on. We can react strongly to these sensations, and these sensations can have a huge impact on our mood and ability to function. Sensory issues looms large for many of us, threatening to severely limit our executive functioning, energy levels, or even our ability to speak.

For ADHD'ers, our senses can be a major source of distraction and energy loss. We often have trouble filtering relevant sensations from non-relevant ones and, combined with our impulsive minds, often find our attention switching to distracting or unhelpful sensory input. This impacts our focus, sure, but putting in the cognitive effort over and over again to pull our attention back on track is utterly exhausting. This has a major impact on our mood and energy levels.

However, being highly sensitive or responsive to sensations isn't always only a bad thing. Usually, if some sensations are painful, uncomfortable, or unpleasant, there are also sensations that are soothing, comforting, or joyful. If some stimulation distract us, other stimulation might lock us in. The goal of this worksheet is to find those pleasant, joyful, or regulating sensations, so

Let's Brainstorm

For a first step, think about soothing, comforting, or regulating sensations that you already know and might already be using! Think of sensations you keep coming back to or ones you enjoy. Write these down.

At the moment, it's alright if you can't think of any at all or if you are overflowing with options. These pleasant, soothing sensations can be just about anything. They could be running your hand on a cool wall, listening to thrashing metal music, kaleidoscopic light patterns, your favourite blanket, the feeling of a tight hug, and on and on.

While brainstorming, remember to include sensations that come from body position, closeness to people or objects, movement, or balance, as well as the traditional senses of sound, sight, smell, taste, and touch. This is so important because these non-traditional senses are often the basis for how we stim.

Wait... are these just stims?

Stims are essentially what we're looking for here, yep. Often, stims, or self-stimulating behaviours, are subconscious or learned ways of using movement and sensations to self-soothe. They often come up in stressful, understimulating, or dysregulating situations and may be repeated as needed to manage stress and re-regulate. Stims are generally associated with being autistic, but everybody stims.

The fact that everyone stims also means that everybody can benefit from being aware of which sensations bring them joy, peace, and guide them towards having self-control... and which ones don't.

Filling in the gaps

Brainstorming without any prompts can be overwhelming or inspire decision paralysis. If this happened to you, or even if you have lots of ideas for self-soothing sensations, let's look at some prompts to fill in any gaps. The page below has dozens to choose from, such as do you prefer vivid colours or pastels? Shiny or matte finishes? Look these over, and if any of them speak to you, or remind you or other sensations you find joyful, write them down too.

In this step make sure that you only write down examples that you actually find soothing or joyful. After all, we aren't looking for the lesser of two evils.

Overcoming the biggest barrier

Once we have a list that we can work with, it's time to tackle the biggest barrier to using any strategy: accessibility. We're often least able to remember our strategies, or make decisions, when we actually need them. This means that we need to make it dead simple to find, decide on, and use our strategies to give us the best chance of accessing them when we need them. So, let's make those decisions now:

Find a few examples (perhaps 5-10) that are easy to use and available most places you go. The fewer steps, tools, or materials you need for these examples, the better in my opinion.

For each of these examples, take a moment to write them in as clear and action-focused language as you can so that dysregulated you needs to decode as little as possible. When you're comfortable with the wording, write these on a business card or piece of paper you can keep with you. (I've included some templates below if you'd like to use those).

For places where you spend the most time, we want to make these examples super accessible here as well. Take a few minutes to make these examples eye-catching, easy-to-read, and aesthetic. Make them something that you enjoy, or at least that you don't mind, looking at. Include art, graphics, or designs that speak to you or feel meaningful, and place them in a visible spot where they easy to find, even when you're feeling utterly awful.

Taking the time now to make sure our strategies are accessible, and as free of barriers as possible, will make it more likely that we use them when we need them. This is useful for most people and most strategies, but absolutely essential for many ADHD and/or autistic folks for whom dysregulation hits like a Mack truck.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Now that you have these examples written down in a place where you see them and find them again, it's time to practice actually using the. This could be the next time you start to feel overwhelmed, or even when you just don't feel quite right. In these situations, using one or more of these examples might be able to help you settle, and the more you use them the easier using them will become. So take the time to practice these strategies and, as you need to, come back go through this worksheet again to update your examples and find new sources of sensory joy in your self-regulation.

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In addition to getting early access to this post, folks who support me on Patreon also get access to a PDF version of this worksheet that you can edit and make your own. If you aren't a patron, please consider joining for early access, exclusive content, and community.

Speaking of those great souls who help support this work, thank you to each and every one of you:

Luke, Emily Faalasli, Meghan Premo-Hopkins, Anne Lee Landry, & Calle Englund